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Is It Okay To Have A Male Bridesmaid? The Answer Is Yes!

The days of following age-old traditions are gone—today’s modern bride knows that to have a truly personal wedding, you have to break a few rules and do what feels right for your special day. So many women have a male best friend that it’s nearly impossible to imagine a wedding day where he’s not an integral part of the ceremony. In many cases, the bride’s best guy friend is not necessarily a friend of the groom, so we think it’s totally fine—and actually pretty cool—to ask your closest guy pal to be a male bridesmaid!

Whether he’s your best friend from college or that childhood pal that you never lost touch with over the years, inviting a male bridesmaid to join your bridal party is instantly going to put you one step ahead of the trends and help to break down those gender stereotypes. We love the idea of having a male maid of honor, as it makes it that much easier to make him stand out, but inviting a close male friend to be a part of your special day, in any capacity, is certain to make him feel as though the relationship you have can never be broken.

Naturally, there are concerns that every bride has when choosing friends and relatives to be a part of their bridal party. What role will each person play? How will you make each person feel special and significant in the grand plans of your wedding day? We’ve come up with a few tips and tricks that will make it easy to incorporate any male (or female) friend into your bridal party and make your wedding day that much more amazing!

Is It Okay To Have A Male Bridesmaid? The Answer Is Yes!

Mixed gender wedding party

George Street Photo & Video

What Should a Bridesman Wear?

There are a few ways you can tackle the issue of what your male bridesmaid should wear. You can have him wear the same suit or tuxedo as your groomsmen, but since he’ll be standing on your side with the girls, you might want to give him a different shirt, tie, or vest that complements the bridesmaid dresses and shows some distinction. You’re surely going to want to coordinate your entire bridal party in the similar hues, but it’s okay to have your bridesman wear a different tie, add a vest, or wear a different color shirt to show that he’s not just one of the guys.

If you want to dress your male ‘maid in a different suit, we love the idea of choosing a light neutral color, such as light grey or khaki, which can look simply stunning paired with bridesmaids in blush pink, pale grey, or dusty blue dresses. You can have him wear the same look or dress him in something different than the groomsmen on your future spouse’s side—that’s completely up to you. This is, after all, going to be a trend-setting wedding!

Male bridesman with a tie that matches the bridesmaids

Brian Bossany Photography 

Can A Male Be My Maid Of Honor?

The short answer to this question is a resounding yes! It’s your wedding day. It’s your big moment. And it’s up to you to put the people closest to you in the roles that they deserve to be in on your wedding day. As long as it’s okay with your husband-to-be, there’s absolutely no reason why you can’t have your closest male friend as your maid of honor! At first, it may seem like it bucks all the trends and traditions. In reality, having a male bridesmaid can come quite in handy in terms of gaining some manly perspective on your expectations for the big day.

Should I Make Any Special Exceptions for a Male Maid Of Honor?

Let’s be honest, if you’re asking a guy friend to be your maid of honor, there’s a good chance that’s he’s never attended a bridal shower or a bachelorette party, let alone planned one. When it comes down to it, you don’t need to be shy about the type of pre-wedding events that you expect and desire—let your male MOH know that even though he’s taking center stage on the big day, you don’t expect him to plan your shower or host an out-of-town bachelorette party for all your girlfriends (that is, unless he’s into that sort of thing). If you choose to have a male MOH, don’t hesitate to call upon your mother, another ‘maid, or a close friend to either take control of the duties that the MOH would normally plan or assist your male ‘maid in planning the details.

bridesmaid and bridesman kissing the bride on the cheek

Brian Bossany Photography

Should a Male Bridesmaid Walk the Aisle Like A Female ‘Maid? 

Whether you have a male bridesmaid, a female groomswoman, or a bridal party that embraces traditional gender roles, we love it when every member of the bridal party has their moment to shine, regardless of what side of the aisle they’re standing on. If you’re planning to have a mixed gender wedding party, let each member of the party partake in the usual traditions. Let a female groomswoman usher guests down the aisle. Let your male ‘maid strut the aisle alone as you would have any bridesmaid do.

The addition of a male bridesman works incredibly well if you have an uneven number of ‘maids and groomsmen on each side. It’s not unusual to see two groomsmen walk the aisle with one ‘maid, and it won’t shock anyone if you have a bridesman and a bridesmaid walk the aisle together. After all, the only real difference is what side of the officiant they will be standing on.

Mixed gender wedding party  (1)

George Street Photo & Video

Should I Invite My Male ‘Maid to the Bachelorette Party?

Yes! If he’s important enough to be a part of your bridal party, then he’s deserving of an invitation to your big girl’s night out. With that said, you should make it clear that his presence at your bachelorette celebration is not required. Leave it up to him to decide if he wants to be a part of that moment or not. If he doesn’t feel comfortable attending, don’t force him to do so. If he does feel comfortable, he can double as a bodyguard for the girls and give your groom some peace of mind that his bride-to-be is in the company of a man that he can trust to keep her safe.

One thing to keep in mind is that all guys are not created equal. While your closest girlfriends likely expect to be asked to be in your bridal party, plan your shower, and host your bachelorette party, your best guy friend probably isn’t. Some guys just aren’t comfortable playing that role, but others will be thrilled that you have asked them to be more than just a guest on your special day.

bridesmaid and bridesman dancing

Brian Bossany Photography 

We love the idea of a co-ed bridal party, and we’re seeing it more and more with each wedding season. It’s always been tradition to have the happy couple’s brothers and sisters as part of the traditional bridal party, regardless of what side they are on. Now it’s just as acceptable to include those childhood friends and college buddies who used to be discounted as part of the party simply for their gender. Traditional gender roles are changing almost daily, so embrace the new normal and create an unforgettable wedding party by having a female groomsman or a male bridesmaid! 

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